Most relationships comprise of different flavors: a little Care, a little fight, a little joy, a little happiness, a little tension but the bottom line is everything is cooked with Love. Every new dish that we taste every day is cooked on love; be it sweet ‘kheer’ of caring words or ‘chilly paneer’ of fights the fire that cooks it is Love and that is what is important.
The Hypocrisy of “I” is that, when we are happy and our Ego is satisfied, we see the fire of love behind every dish and appreciate the feelings; but when “I” does not get its expected Importance, the same fire of love appears to be volcano of misunderstanding. What to speak of the spicy ‘chilly paneer’ (fights) even the ‘kheer’ appears to be an expression of sarcasm.
There is no problem in expressing anger, irritation or frustration. We need variation in Life, imagine eating only rice every day or only kheer every day or only karela every day; sounds boring, isn’t it? Recently I read this quote online “To tolerate means to see things with heart and not eyes” by (forgot the author).
So expressing anger, irritation, disappointment is perfectly fine. What goes wrong is looking at the things with the eye of ‘I’ and not feeling it with Heart. It is the Hypocrisy of I that does not let us see the Love and care behind anger, and we are fed up of fights, of irritation etc. etc. etc.
In relationships more than expecting to be understood it is important to try to understand, at the end we are together for Krishna to serve him and not serve our senses. If one fails to understand the other should try to understand, we are all bound to be conquered by our senses, it may seem irrelevant, unexpected, not right but it is very natural to behave Human because we are Human still.
When we think the other person is wrong there are two possibilities: one the person is actually wrong or second that it is the “I” that presents them as wrong. In either case fighting and shouting and getting angry is not the solution. Speaking to them what you think and listening to them what they are feeling will help clear the confusion.
There is no one made for each other in this world, it’s just a statement to make us realize the importance of being together. We are all made for Krishna and we must try to remember this.
Whenever you feel frustrated the next time take time, sit back and reflect. What is important? To fight, hurt each other and get fed up of it. Or to end the fight on the cute note, forgive each other, and be happy.
Let not “I” make you forget “WE”. Because as Devotees we come together to Serve and Please Krishna, to help each other improve and accept each other’s short comings with Love.
Next time you want to shout or think someone is wrong tell yourself “it is the Hypocrisy of I”