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Saturday, 19 July 2014

An Evening With Love

What a festival for the eyes it is to see beauty personified! Since a few days my mind was wandering around the beautiful form of RadhaGopinath (@ ISKCON Churney Road); and yesterday I received a text saying that it was His birthday. Now what could stop us from visiting the Most Beautiful Blue-Boy.

After my college I called my husband to discuss with him the time and place where we could meet and then rush to greet the 'Birthday Boy.'

Excited, euphoric and panting a little we reached His merciful abode. But, increasing our elated eagerness, the curtains were closed. A mild pleasant kirtan appeased our apprehensive heart as we were waiting for the darshan. Finally the bell rang and the curtains opened and our eyes celebrated the most awaited delight.

In a yellow dhoti, green waists-band abd a red head-gear, Sri Gopinath was capturing our mind with His colorful appearance. But, His heart seemed captured by the most Beautiful Sri Radhe dressed in orange and red.

All of us were spell bounded by Their charming darshan and couldn't move an inch for quite a while. With the enchanting kirtan our captivated heart were offering prayers of gratitude for the opportunity of that moment.

After sitting for a while we decided to leave as the curtains were about to close and it is not a happy sight. Then we had a fulfilling dinner and preferred to walk till the railway station. However, somehow, we got attracted by the beach and decided to sit there for sometime.

Embracing the breeze of tranquility we sat a little away from the shore to not be disturbed by the waters. It was low tide and fortunately no rains. The divine solitude of the atmosphere inspired me to sing the names and glories of the Lord.

With every kiss of the soothing wind and a heart heavy with gratitude we felt the Love of God in every moment. Our souls thanked the supreme for calling us to His abode and then guiding us to witness His incredible creations- the playful waves, the gliding wind, the mysterious sky and the sacred silence amidst the screaming vehicles of a city like Mumbai. I realized "how peace can be found even amidst chaos if we can simply recognize the presence of God in every situation, everywhere and appreciate His blessings."

What was supposed to be 5 mins turned into an hour and we had to leave. Though we wished to wait a little longer, our heart was tasting nectar of contentment. We could not speak for some time, but knew that we both were reflecting on the gift of that Evening with Love.

Sunday, 6 July 2014

Happy Birthday Paa !

Often we do not realise the value of people while they are with us. And when they are gone, it gets too late to repent and express our
Love and Gratitude to them.

This morning I was listening to a lecture. A part of the lecture was about Daughter-Father relationship. The part where Mother Sita is
married and King Janak has to see her going to her new Home in Ayodhya. The description of the loving relationship shared between Fathers and Daughters was so beautifully described by the speaker that almost all of the people in the audience felt it through tears.
Sometimes we so easily fail to understand or rather simply overlook the care hidden when our father scolds us. We turn deaf to the concern behind his every call when we are out of our homes. We turn blind to all the hard-work he does to fulfil our every desire. His Love-filled questions appear to us like a frustrating interrogation. And in all these beliefs of our mind we fail to express our Love and Gratitude for him.
A father is neither an anchor to hold us back, nor a sail to take us through, but, a guiding light where his love shows us the way. He is
someone you always look up to.
I always wrapped the gift of Gratitude and Love, but was never able to present it to you. And now I don't know paa how will my thoughts reach you. When I was blessed with so much of your love, I always turned away, misunderstood you and offended you in many ways. But you always Loved me and cared for me. It is said, "Love leaves a memory; no one can steal, and Death leaves a heart-ache no one can heal"

I thank God for this beautiful day for the most Lovely gift of God came in this world and I was blessed to be your beloved Daughter. I am sure that wherever you are, You are in the protection of His Supreme Love and Care.

Love you paa.

Sunday, 23 March 2014

Love you Maa

This morning I was cleaning cupboard drawer with my mom; suddenly with moist eyes she told me, "For whom would I do this after you go? Your dad left me first and now you would leave in next 40 days" I had nothing to reply. She kept talking to herself, "how would I live without you".

In the evening we both went to visit my Godmother after a very long time (for me). My Godmother expressed her feelings to me, She started by asking me about my recent trip to Mayapur, (which reminds me, I need to pen down that incredible experience too) what is the meaning of parikrama? How do I feel about Devotion to Krishna? what are my experiences? For the first time she sincerely wanted to know about what I was doing, but I couldn't speak much as I was completely surprised by her loving inquiries. I had expected a nice session of taunts, scoldings, dissapointment to shoot at me, but she was simply open to hear me with all her heart.She told me " Initially I was upset with your decision to follow Krishna Consciousness, to marry a non-catholic guy, but recently I thought about it. Maybe you were meant to be where you are, The almighty Lord is simply more powerful and he has plans for all of us."

I was again speechless by her understanding and affectionate words. I could not say much.We just shared a video and bhajan, and had a general conversation. While leaving I just hugged her, and she too was in tears, She started recollecting how when i was a kid, I looked for her in the church and ran to sit next to her, and force her to come home and fall in her lap and hear stories from bible.

It is true that Mother is the closest example of God's Love for us. My lips could not move to allow the words to come out, but my heart was loudly thanking them, for all that they did for me all the time. Both these beautiful women, have a major role in carving me to whatever little good I am today, Its their Love which they always expressed, whether they hugged me or scolded me that has taught me to appreciate life and everything that is gifted to you. There is no such thing as pain if you completely trust God. And they are living examples of this principle. 

I can never thank them enough but in feeble words my heart kept saying " Thank you Maa for all your love and care, Thank you for waking up early morning to make my breakfast and pack my tiffin for school, Thank you for knowing and understanding the deepest desire of my heart always, Thank you for arranging my books on the shelf and my clothes in the cupboard whenever I got too lazy, Thank you for always being there for me, to celebrate my every achievement and to cheer me up in my every failure, Many times you accepted paa's anger on my behalf, many times I was rude to you, I hurt you with my harsh and insensitive words, I failed to understand your love and concern whenever you scolded me, but you still loved me, I am sorry Maa, for not being able to appreciate your love and care, I am sorry to not fully recognize it. Whenever I was sick, you stayed up all night taking care of my needs, you never bothered about your comfort, but selflessly endlessly just loved me and took care of all of us. I am sorry to not appreciate every sacrifice that you have always made. I Love you Maa, I Love you."

Monday, 13 January 2014

Test at Every Step

Krsna always tests us at every step of life. Sometimes we are tested when nothing happens at all and sometimes when everything happens all at once. What is the Difference?
Actually there is no difference. In both the cases our behaviour and true nature is tested. However, apparently, when nothing happens our faith and patience is tested and when everything happens our composure and tolerance is tested.

We know Mahaprabhu's prayer; some of us may be reciting it every day "yatha tatha va vidadhaatu lampato, mat prana nathastu sa eva naaparah"- Sikshastakam-8. Treat me as you like; embrace me or make me brokenhearted, but you will still remain the lord of my Life, Unconditionally.In this prayer Sri Caitanya mahaprabhu has clearly explained that there is no point at which we need to lament for any kind of material loss.

A very common scenario is the test when Money or Wealth in any form is absent or present. When I have money, I am tested how I use it; whether I consider that money as my hard earned wealth and use it for sense gratification or whether I consider that money as Krsna's property and use it for his service? Likewise when I dont have money I am tested how I react? Whether I start complaining, worrying or losing faith. Or if I am composed, and with faith continue my services.I will worry only when my mood is sense enjoyment and due to lack of money my desires are getting frustrated. But if I truly consider "ayi nanda tanuja kinkaram"- I am the eternal servant of the Beautiful Son of Nanda Maharaj- then I wont have to worry at all. 

A little anxiousness is good if it is for seva, but the worry of not being able to enjoy is nothing but an unnecessary invitation to depression.

But it is alright. We all have to give a series of tests. Just like we have class tests, weekly tests, Surprise tests, semester exams, Some even have to give KT exams or Re-exams until we graduate. Similarly in life we give a series of tests until we finally graduate to the level of surrender.

"Krsna's Love is Mercy not Justice"- HH Radhanath Maharaj. Obviously, if it had to be justice. We would never deserve. We could never clear, we could never qualify. It's only the grace marks that He gives and our inumerable mistakes that he ignores, that we could make some progress.

Through our self obsessed eyes we may only see suffering and difficulties but Krsna's tests are the most lineant ones. He allows us to look in the books and he also allows us to ask anyone who knows better. All the help is available you just need to sincerely appear with faith and have the willingness to Graduate.