I had once read somewhere "Behavior is the mirror in which everyone shows their image." It was a good line to read then but realised its meaning tonight.
Realised how the snake of anger raises its fangs when the ego is pricked.Like a mirror our Life reflects back what we think into it, When I saw my behaviour reflecting my thoughts I can't express how disgusted I am to see them.Believe me it isn't a beautiful sight.
In the fantasy world of praises and appreciations an encounter with reality revealed the mirror image of my heart, this mirror was nothing else but my own rude and angry behaviour. By Krishna's mercy and association of Excellent devotees, I could pause for a while and reflect on my actions. I wish I had an eraser or an UNDO button, to just delete the abominable side of my actions. But instead of being sorry that I do not have any such tool, I am happy there isnt any eraser or an UNDO button in Life. Because if it was, then we would recklessly go on behaving wrong, and erasing them as and when required.
Krsna is smart enough to not allow any reversals, thats how we can remember our mistakes and learn from it again and again. True we are all conditioned, but if we make a conscious effort to improve on our ill habbits, Hopefully some day we can evolve as a better person. One thing that I learnt is after a dispute when we are angry, instead of finding a reason to blame the other person if we try to see our mistake Anger subsides Quickly and all we feel is humbled.
There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. Or Job is to reflect the Teachings of our Acharyas who have burned their Lives like a candle to enlighten us. But in order to Reflect them, we need to be a spotless mirror free from specks of Ego Pride and Anger. Only then will we be able to reflect The Love of God and the teachings of Acharyas in its pure and Beautiful Form
Begging for Forgiveness for being a failure and Praying for mercy.
A Fallen Aspirant.