This morning I was cleaning cupboard drawer with my mom; suddenly with moist eyes she told me, "For whom would I do this after you go? Your dad left me first and now you would leave in next 40 days" I had nothing to reply. She kept talking to herself, "how would I live without you".
In the evening we both went to visit my Godmother after a very long time (for me). My Godmother expressed her feelings to me, She started by asking me about my recent trip to Mayapur, (which reminds me, I need to pen down that incredible experience too) what is the meaning of parikrama? How do I feel about Devotion to Krishna? what are my experiences? For the first time she sincerely wanted to know about what I was doing, but I couldn't speak much as I was completely surprised by her loving inquiries. I had expected a nice session of taunts, scoldings, dissapointment to shoot at me, but she was simply open to hear me with all her heart.She told me " Initially I was upset with your decision to follow Krishna Consciousness, to marry a non-catholic guy, but recently I thought about it. Maybe you were meant to be where you are, The almighty Lord is simply more powerful and he has plans for all of us."
I was again speechless by her understanding and affectionate words. I could not say much.We just shared a video and bhajan, and had a general conversation. While leaving I just hugged her, and she too was in tears, She started recollecting how when i was a kid, I looked for her in the church and ran to sit next to her, and force her to come home and fall in her lap and hear stories from bible.
It is true that Mother is the closest example of God's Love for us. My lips could not move to allow the words to come out, but my heart was loudly thanking them, for all that they did for me all the time. Both these beautiful women, have a major role in carving me to whatever little good I am today, Its their Love which they always expressed, whether they hugged me or scolded me that has taught me to appreciate life and everything that is gifted to you. There is no such thing as pain if you completely trust God. And they are living examples of this principle.
I can never thank them enough but in feeble words my heart kept saying " Thank you Maa for all your love and care, Thank you for waking up early morning to make my breakfast and pack my tiffin for school, Thank you for knowing and understanding the deepest desire of my heart always, Thank you for arranging my books on the shelf and my clothes in the cupboard whenever I got too lazy, Thank you for always being there for me, to celebrate my every achievement and to cheer me up in my every failure, Many times you accepted paa's anger on my behalf, many times I was rude to you, I hurt you with my harsh and insensitive words, I failed to understand your love and concern whenever you scolded me, but you still loved me, I am sorry Maa, for not being able to appreciate your love and care, I am sorry to not fully recognize it. Whenever I was sick, you stayed up all night taking care of my needs, you never bothered about your comfort, but selflessly endlessly just loved me and took care of all of us. I am sorry to not appreciate every sacrifice that you have always made. I Love you Maa, I Love you."