Mining Memories

  All my life till now, I have tried loving other colors. (Not that I hate them) I try to like them from time to time. Questions like “why do you always pick up blue or black or white” “why don’t you try doing your stuff in the day?” were frequently asked. And I always tried to change, but I was never happy. I thought I had a problem if I can’t get along people, if I prefer living in a closed room, I must be depressed. Or even when I loved Sharad Purnima Darshan more than any other day (if you want to know the difference Please Google “Sharad Purnima Darshan of Sri Sri Radha Raasbihariji or Sri Sri RadhaGopinathji). But what I realized is no matter how much I tried, I don’t feel the same for any other colors the way I feel for Blue, followed by black and white. And this realization was inspired by my son. Recently we sat doing the stone-painting. And my son fought with me for using so many colors. He said I should only use blue. He stopped arguing when he saw I was hurt (he i...

  O ṁ   ajñ ā na-timir ā ndhasya jñ ā n ā ñ jana- ś al ā kay ā   cak ṣ ur unm ī lita ṁ yena tasmai ś r ī -gurave nama ḥ I had joined ISKCON movement in the year 2006. The first two years I wasn’t very convinced of the Book Distribution Marathons. The main reason I thought was that I am hopeless in marketing anything. But then I satisfied my ego by finding a good number of reasons like, we should not ‘sell’ Bhagavad-gita it will lose its value. Or sometimes to avoid debate or arguments I would simply say I don’t have time. On December 3, 2007, I realized that Book Distribution Holds some Value when we were volunteering for a big Ayyapa Festival program through our college on the BKC grounds (Mumbai). And a Mataji came inside with some books. I was so happy to see a devotee face, I had bhagavad gita so I bought some small books – path of perfection, journey to other planets etc. And 3 of my classmates got themselves a Bhagavad gita. That day I understood, how i...

If I could be a month I would Love to be DECEMBER. There is something oddly comforting bittersweet feeling of this month that I am addicted to. It’s the joy of birthday celebrations preceding Christmas nights preceding New year fun. It’s hugging your mom tight in the rikshaw, or hiding in her saree while returning from the midnight mass. Its fairy lit nights, and house turned into fairy tale castle or wondering what if Santa did come. It’s also as you grow up, the pain of knowing Santa was just a story, and even worse when you lose the man who was your santa all life. And spending the month alone, yet kindled. From day 1 every year I am in total “December Mode”. Almost every year, something about December inspires me. This year I was reflecting on what I really love so much of this month, the brief span of the cheerless sun, or the evening like afternoons, perhaps the longer nights, when the cold within finally matches the cold without, like you are one with the month, an...

PS : (Pre Script here) :  Before I begin I want to point out that this note, is most similar to the description of this blog. Last Sunday we had our Diwali family gathering and after lunch at my beloved sister’s place we decided to take the kids to the beach in the evening. Just as we reached there, my son wanted to pee, and so I took him while others were settling in the barely found clearing in the overly crammed full beach. After finishing his job, this mischievous boy ran in the opposite direction, and would not stop despite my warnings.  (I was remembering my wife for 2 reasons, one because she could handle him expertly, and two because if she heard this story I won’t hear the end of the lecture she would start.) So I started chasing him, I had to brisk walk, which made me realize he has started running faster. On his way he was looking at the sand-work of others and would halt for collecting sticks and bottle caps. When his hands got full he would leave behind...

Birthday Morning Waking up at to my son jumping on me at 12:30 am, wishing me “Happy Birthday” was the sweetest thing that happened to me. “Main aapke liye gift leke aaya hu.” saying that he gave something in my hand and insisted that I opened it immediately. More than me he was surprised and excited to find chocolate. Next cute thing was to read some sweet confessions from my husband, in words beautifully stringing his feelings; Truthful and so full of love. By 1:30 both father and son dozed off. I had slept for good 2 hours and somehow my body gets satisfied with that nap. So I thought I could use the time to just reflect on my 27 years that I just completed at 3:05 am coming into this world. Few years ago I thought my life was so miserable. Then with time as I turned my journey seeking within, I thought maybe now my life got better that I am so “spiritual”. Today as I look back, I find my life has always been perfect, like a perfectly blended delicacy where every taste mai...

T oday I seized my day. Though I spend most of my time with my son, my mind is usually preoccupied thinking about the tasks I need to perform. Today I let my mind take leave from the worries, and fascinated by this newly felt freedom, it started beholding the activities of my 2 year old son. After playing with him as I put him to sleep, my mind sauntered down the memory lane and brought up few collected gems. Truly “Memory is like a small kid walking along the Sea Shore, you never know which pebble it will pick up and store in his treasure bag.” The first thing that warmed my heart was the way ‘mee’ would just make everything seem so easy even the syringe I had to take, or times when ‘paa’ would be strict. Also I remembered my ‘paa’ there was not a single memory in which my father had said a “NO” for anything I asked for. He always gave me freedom to choose everything for me, even as a child. He just chose to trust me, while encouraging me to make sure it was necessary or imp...

When we were kids, and our parents went out,Home Alone my brother and I would watch movies and have popcorns all day. That is what we decided to do today as my mom went out of town for a small pilgrimage. I finished my work and left home. The riksha  driver Mr. Sanjay Mishra(I asked his name later), was singing some chaupais from "Sri Ramcharitmanas" Interested I asked him what he was singing. He explained enthusiastically that it was the description of Sri Ramchandra killing king Baali, and he continued, I love reading and singing it, its so blissful. Then he asked me about my native place and was excited on hearing that I was from 'Rameshwaram'. He quoted a choupai from Ramcharitmanas that translates, "one who offers Ganga-jal to the Shivlingam at Sri Rameshawar Temple, will attain 'Sahujya Mukti' after leaving this body."  And he Said maybe someday he will have the opportunity to visit the Tirtha sthali. The journey was small, when I expresse...