Since past few days my mind was very disturbed.. It felt like an invisible injury hurting so bad in parts i never knew i had in me.
I spoke to some friends trying to pacify myself, but none of the words sounded healing..
Then i realised, i want to hear something that could relate to me, something that i feel happy about, but what was it, i didnt knew?
I was very disturbed to see anger, frustration, disappointments, a desire to feel wanted, a feeling of being cheated. Such horrible things never manifested themselves before.
Situtations had been even worse then, but there was something that kept me cheerful all the time, what was it? What am I "NOT" doing this time? What was missing in me?
All these questions were haunting me; freezing my ability to think.
Finally my only refuge- Prayers; came to my rescue... and i sat down chanting last night.
Miraculously i became calm and was successful in finding some sleep not just for my eyes but for my flickering mind as well.
Today Morning, when i started with my work..
Surfing through FB i came accross these beautiful lines as a Status of Nitayi Priya Prabhu.
"Don't give up loving. Don't give up your goodness even if the people around you sting you. The greatness comes not when things are always going well for you. But the greatness comes when you're really tested, when you take some knocks, some disappointments, when sadness comes... Because only if you've been in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain".
This reminded me of all the Principles that i always held so close to my heart.
To Forgive, To be patient, To be Grateful every moment. To Love evrything and anything that comes my way.
Then i realised. Life is not about complaining, But Trusting that Every Moment is a beautiful Gift, Every Day is a blessing, Every situation is unlimited Mercy. and I am so much at peace.. It is indeed truly said Silence is Healing and Forgiveness Heals INSTANTLY.
My guru Maharaj says To Love is to Serve and to Serve is To Please.. Expecting Happiness or even a fair treatment is nothing but our false ego. It cannot keep us perpetually Happy.
Because as i always say, it is not possible for everyone to love us all the time, but we can definitely love everyone in all times. So happiness should be found in something constant so that our Happiness is eternal.. And True Hapiness can only be found in Loving and Humbly Serving without any Condition and with the only motivation to Give pleasure to the Lord and his devotees. There is no question of being upset. Because there is nothing wrong in whatever Happens.
How could i be so foolish in acting the way i did. but may be Kanhu wanted me to get more strong on these principles..
Amazing... this is so wonderful.. I feel really very good now..
I hope i don't disapoint Krishna, Gurudev and all wonderful Vaishnavas ever again..
Please Bless Me.. I need all your mercy.
A Foolish Aspiring Servant.
P.S: Just thought of Sharing this realisation with you.
Forgive me any offences i have done. i am sure i didn't mean it.
Any views if you would like to share is Gratefully accepted.