The Power of Self-Awareness Over False Affirmations - my 90 minutes with Gurukuli boys.

Recently, I had the opportunity to conduct a poetry writing workshop for a group of Gurukuli boys. One of the activities was to create acrostics using their own names, a fun and engaging exercise to help them express their self-identity. What struck me the most during this activity was the contrast between what I had expected and what actually unfolded.

When the younger children began, they chose adorable and positive adjectives—nothing surprising there. But as I moved on to the older boys, around 10 years and above, I noticed something quite remarkable. Instead of selecting grandiose or exaggerated words to describe themselves, they opted for words that reflected a sense of self-awareness. Some boys described themselves as "distracted" or "dutiful," and even one child chose "annoying" and "obnoxious" for his acrostic. What caught me off guard was how genuinely comfortable they were with these terms—not in a self-deprecating or negative way, but more from a place of acknowledgment.

When I suggested that the boy who called himself "obnoxious" rethink his choice, he paused and after a bit of thought, changed it to "obedient." This was a perfect example of self-awareness. He was aware of the words he had initially chosen, and when prompted, he didn’t leap to something extravagant like "outstanding" or "overachiever." Instead, he thought carefully and landed on "obedient," which was true to his nature.

The experience left me reflecting on the environment these children are growing up in. We live in a world that’s constantly telling us—and especially our children—to affirm greatness in ourselves, to always declare "I’m the best," "I’m a star," or "I’m a champion." While there’s undeniable value in positive affirmations and building self-esteem, there is something equally—if not more—important about being aware of who you truly are. These boys, growing up in the simple, spiritually enriched environment of a Gurukul, displayed an incredible sense of humility, self-awareness, and acceptance. They weren’t bogged down by insecurities or the pressure to boast about themselves, but neither did they seem troubled by their imperfections. They simply acknowledged them, perhaps striving to improve, but not in a way that weighed them down.

In that moment, I thought to myself, if someone like me—a hard-hearted and proud fool—could be moved by their simplicity, imagine how pleased Srila Prabhupada would be, watching over them with pride. It was a reminder that spiritual education and an environment grounded in simplicity and values have the power to cultivate genuine self-awareness in children. They aren’t constantly told to push themselves into an ideal they don’t yet embody; instead, they are encouraged to be who they are, flaws and all.

This experience made me realize the importance of fostering self-awareness over feeding false affirmations. While "I am a star" or "I am amazing" can boost confidence momentarily, there is a much deeper and lasting strength that comes from acknowledging your true nature, your strengths, and your weaknesses. Being aware of your shortcomings allows you to work on them, while false affirmations may simply gloss over areas that need genuine growth.

We must teach our children to find value in who they are now, not in who they think they should be. Self-awareness doesn’t breed negativity; it allows for reflection, growth, and a much more authentic sense of self-worth. It’s about being okay with the fact that, yes, sometimes we get distracted, or sometimes we’re not the best at everything. But through this awareness, we can strive to become better—not because we’re told to, but because we genuinely desire to.

In a world where external validation often becomes a driving force, these boys reminded me of the beauty of internal awareness. They were content with simple, truthful descriptions of themselves, and in that contentment lay their quiet strength. As parents, educators, and mentors, our role is not just to praise them into becoming someone they’re not, but to help them understand and love who they already are.

In their simplicity and humility, they showed me the essence of real confidence—a confidence rooted in knowing oneself, flaws and all, and still walking forward with grace.