NOT Skin or Skills

Women’s Day today, this afternoon I was sitting in the dining hall, and some local village kids were playing around.. I was looking at one particular little girl – dark hair, bright twinkling eyes, shiny white teeth, chubby cheeks, she was wearing a beautiful green frock with golden lace and running around happily. She must be around 5-6 yrs. old. I was enjoying their play until one lady next to me suggested, “that girl is so beautiful if only she was fair” and this kind of disturbed me. I remembered once when I was in school, they wanted someone to present flowers to the chief guest, and when I suggested I could do it, and my teacher replied that we need good looking  girls.” She joked.. but that was enough for me to believe till today. That I do not look good.. And no matter how much philosophy or talks on the beautiful soul and inner beauty I hear… 1% of me at least believe that I am not beautiful… That and many such memories reinforced the belief again and again..

I see the world today and feel sad that nothing much has changed… we talk and hear big things. But I know a mother who once introduced her beautiful girls and ended by adding “my younger one is a little dark-skinned” with a tinge of shame in her voice… I know a dark mother who prayed that “God please give me fair kids” I know many girls lovely kind, compassionate, who call me to say that they were rejected by the guys because they don’t look good enough. I know women who pass body-shaming comments on other women passing by ( of course thankfully the other women didn’t hear her). Here I am only speaking about women and the way they are supporting other women. These women are educated; these women call themselves modern, these women are nice ladies I know. I wonder are they even conscious of what they are speaking. It’s so ingrained in us. How easily we pass judgments and comments on the size and skin of others... Why do we forget there are humans behind that skin, there are feelings even in that fat body… and this was not enough that there are also fair ideal weighing girls with perfect bodies (whatever that means) were my clients because they were judged for the pimples they had, or being too thin, etc.. .etc.…

I don’t know what the solution is for this... I just had it boiling in me since afternoon, maybe it started many afternoons ago but I had to say it. Because I couldn’t understand why should I be celebrating women’s day.. equal rights, equal status, equal treatment blah blah blah just treat us as humans I guess… that will do the work.

Someone told me recently, “I look fairer”, and was offended when I didn’t thank them for their “compliment”. I am wondering where the compliment was. That the melanin in my skin reduced???

Having said that I watched a play recently in one school.. Where the beautiful princess was played by a dark chubby girl, and two fair thin girls were her maidservants. Parents protested they wanted their girls to be the princess. But the teachers were firm on their decision….. They also shared the consequence… on the fair girls, they went on normally as they were before the play. But the timid chubby girl had the confidence of the princess.. She felt beautiful…

We need more such institutions. More people sharing this motivation. the change needs to happen right in the beginning.

What is the beauty they asked?

Kindness, honesty, and love. In all its shades…are most beautiful. Not the skin or skills…