When I was a child.

Today I seized my day. Though I spend most of my time with my son, my mind is usually preoccupied thinking about the tasks I need to perform. Today I let my mind take leave from the worries, and fascinated by this newly felt freedom, it started beholding the activities of my 2 year old son. After playing with him as I put him to sleep, my mind sauntered down the memory lane and brought up few collected gems.

Truly “Memory is like a small kid walking along the Sea Shore, you never know which pebble it will pick up and store in his treasure bag.” The first thing that warmed my heart was the way ‘mee’ would just make everything seem so easy even the syringe I had to take, or times when ‘paa’ would be strict. Also I remembered my ‘paa’ there was not a single memory in which my father had said a “NO” for anything I asked for. He always gave me freedom to choose everything for me, even as a child. He just chose to trust me, while encouraging me to make sure it was necessary or important to me.

With them around me, I never really needed anyone or anything else to inspire me. I was self motivated, I could trust myself, I felt accomplished, I felt beautiful, and I was the best version of myself. Nothing ever seemed impossible. I could happily stay in the tents made of umbrella, sail in my paper boats, and plan my visits to stars and moon. There was no one to tell me, “You can’t do this.”  

However, the most important thing I realized was that I could talk non-stop about anything and also about everything I wanted to express without the fear being judged or being hurt. Today we need therapies, to open up the way we could easily do when we were four or five or even ten. I wondered what changed as we grew up. Why have we guarded and tamed the feral child within us. I also remembered everything I would dream about, winning an award for a bestseller book, singing in a concert, performing a ballet in ‘bharat-natyam’ style, or joining NASA and discovering a new planet.

We were to grow and achieve our dreams not change the plan to fit in.
We were to grow up to express without intentionally offending, not to excuse ourselves from communication of truth.
Why wish to be the child again to be free. Why not be the adult we always dreamed to be. The warrior/princess, the writer, the scientist, the magician are still waiting in us to be unveiled. Why hide them behind the “so called” common man/woman we have become. Why not unleash the hidden child within us, set new goals everyday and achieve them one by one. Laugh till our stomach hurts while life plays its “peek-a-boo” with us.


When I was a child I loved, forgave and lived. Why not start it again?


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