Blame Game

After observing different kinds of relationships and of course from my personal experience, I recently had a realization. Few days ago my mum was angry over some reason I still don’t know, maybe her obvious frustration that she has to deal with all the challenges without dad. In her anger she just gave away freshly cooked food, just because I didn't wanted to eat that moment, and she was fighting with me for reasons which were otherwise not wrong to her.  Also just a couple of days back, my friends had a fight over a small thing but it went for quite a long time and it went on increasing for almost 2 days. I have also faced similar senseless, pointless fights with my dear ones.

What I realized is, the main reason we fight is because we are so much determined to prove that it was the other person’s fault due to which the fight never ends and the battle starts with most common statements like, “I did so because You always do the same…”, “ If I didn't call couldn't you call”, “you could have also tried to call”, “You have not yet apologized”, “ First see how you behave” and so on…The worst thing we do is use all the mistakes of the past as the most powerful weapon to win the current battle. Winning the battle becomes so important to us that we just don’t care how the other person will feel by our words. In our typical attempt to justify our mistakes it is possible that we make an injury difficult to heal.

Most of the times such little fights help to make relationships more dynamic, my mom and me laugh at that incident today. It’s not always serious. But sometimes we don’t know how to end it… This BLAME GAME. So long as fights are for fun, they are entertaining, but if not stopped in time they can break relationships, and break people’s heart and bring frustration and agitation.

Is it so difficult to say Sorry? I love to fight too, but I don’t love to continue it till the next day. I am very fond of the saying “raat gayi baat gayi” . Because we cannot stop our anger all at once, at-least we can forget the past and start afresh each day. There is no right or wrong way to love, Some parents may ask their children to justify mistakes while some consider justification as back-answering, Love means different things to different people there is no ‘One for ALL’ concept here.  Love cannot be defined, people may list its different characteristics, There cannot be guidelines how to love. But Love certainly means to simply love without contaminating it with EGO. In Bible, Corinthians 13: 4-5 says Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

It’s good to fight, but too many fights are not good for relationships.'Srila Prabhupad said Fights within family is just like a dark cloud it simply covers the sun for sometimes so we should not worry.' 

But no one likes prolonged darkness. There are more important things to do than to waste so much time and energy on petty things and just fight for no reason. All you have to do, when you are angry, take some time be quite, calm down a little and have a talk rather than behave like animals and fight just to win. Its more important to keep relationships over our mistakes. No one is perfect, Mistakes needs to be corrected not to be fought on. The best thing to do after fight is Laugh over it and end it. is it too difficult?