beche toh bik jaaun

Walking back the memory lane this evening I reached an evening which held a vivid place in my memories. With project papers on the writing pad, research materials like books, printouts spread accross my study table I was reading through one of the books - A life sketch of Meerabai- and came accross this Poem

"main Giridhar ke ghar jaaun
Giridhar mharo saacho pritam
dekhat roop lubhaun
jaha bithaawe tith hi baithu
beche toh bik jaaun
Meera k prabhu Giridhar naagar
bar bar bali jaaun"

I felt these words through tears. For some strange reason I felt extremely happy, I felt proud of I don't know what. As if I achieved everything humanly possible and I have nothing else to Desire.

A feeling of belonging began to embrace me. I belong to that Giridhari, I am owned by him, I am a puppet of his hand completely at his disposal and the fact that I was happy about it seemed crazy to me then. But it didnt matter. All I wanted is to just live with that feeling.

That state of heart and mind continued for a few days, but the conditioned human nature rose back and I was again trapped in thousand desires. When I look back to it today, the line "beche toh bik jaaun" keeps echoing in my mind and I so wish to feel the same way again and Forever.
Absolute total Surrender, so Innocent and So pure.
Read tha same poem again few days back, the complete poem will share it too.

"Main Giridhar ke ghar jaaun
Giridhar mhaaro saacho pritam 
dekhat roop lubhaun
Rayn pade tab hi uthi jaaun
bhor bhaye uthi aaun
rayn dina wa ke sang khelu
jyu tyu taa hi rijhaaun
jo pahiraave soi pahiru
jo de soyi khaaun
meri uski preeti purani
un bin pal na rahaun
jaha baithave tith hi baithu
beche toh bik jaaun
Meera kahe prabhu Giridhar naagar
baar baar bali jaaun."

 Oh friend! I shall go to the House of my Giridhar
He alone is my true beloved
in a most attractive form.
I shall wake up in the night
I shall wake up at the dawn
Will enjoy with him Day and night
and do whatever it takes to please him
I shall wear whatever he makes me wear
and eat whatever he feeds me
This Love between us is age old
I cannot sustain a moment without him
I shall sit wherever he makes me sit
and Get SOLD when HE sells me
Oh Lord of Meera's Life Giridhar
My Life I surrender to you.


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