The Power of Self-Awareness Over False Affirmations - my 90 minutes with Gurukuli boys.

The Lost Sheep

Friday morning was a Hasty morning…  Many things to do, very little time... Since few days Heart was extremely troubled, with so many pressures at the same time…  And just as I was about to leave home, My Grandfather’s best friend arrived at my place to meet us.HE opened is bible and was reading some verses to me, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me.”- John 14. Then he read to me “What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.” –Mathew: 18

This verse just touched my heart. All over his Creations he is simply spreading the messages Calling us back home. It reminded me of the message I read in Madhurya kadambini.. that Krsna is giving us.

"You left me long long ago, you forgot me, but I never forgot you. Lifetime after Lifetime after Lifetime you tried to enjoy material world; but I was always in your heart. Waiting for you to turn to me. You suffered storms, you suffered diseases, you suffered broken hearts and sometimes you enjoyed- Wealth, prosperity, high education. But eventually it was all taken away.
Didn’t you feel separation for me as I felt separation for you at every minute??
And then finally you turned to me and you gave your life to me and I saw how difficult it was in this material world for you to turn to me and to be faithful.. You were ridiculed, you were persecuted, you were criticized and sometimes you had to beg. But I was always with you. I was there to protect you. And now finally, you have returned home. I welcome you."

Remembering all this, A feeling of repentance began to grip me… we left him and came to enjoy, what is the need for him to bring each one of his children back? He is so mercifully trying all the ways possible to take us back. Each one, not a single soul he wants to be left out. He is so merciful and we are so selfish. He is coming again and again and again… He is constantly trying to contact us, keeps calling keeps messaging but we are too busy to reply to him. We are so ruthlessly ignoring him and he is so patiently calling us. Only because he knows we cannot be happy without him… He feels so sad to see us suffering, and he keeps reminding us of the way out of this vicious cycle but we don’t want to get out of it. We are still hopeful about this hopeless place which is called “dukhalaya”.

Thinking on all these lines a sudden thought came to my mind. All of us at sometimes have faced betrayal, our friends ignoring us, not replying our mails or messages or not receiving our calls, not listening to us. How do we react? Do we still patiently wait? Or do we just fight with them? Then I thought what if these people blame us for all the mishaps that happened to them just because they did not listen to us. Isn’t the feeling devastating?

That’s exactly what we do with god, He keeps us reminding don’t do adharma, do not be attached, come back to me... But we never listen to him, and when we face some trouble we blame him, “Why did God do this to me?” Doesn’t it sound unfair to that Kind loving Lord? Don’t you think he deserves all our love? Can we ever repay our debts to him? Let’s Try to go back… Let’s make our attempt to not hurt him more. When he will see us returning to him and listening to him, he will come running to hold us and carry us back home in his loving arms… Rejoicing and celebrating, pampering us like no one ever did.

Closing my eyes I said a small prayer

“Krishna I am Yours, with all my qualities and all my Faults, I lay myself at your feet. Please Accept me. Carry this lost sheep on your shoulders, I cannot find my way back. Please Take me Home, I am tired”